A question and answer, exploring the nature of states of being.
Q. I don't know how to explain it but I am in a weird state of being I feel.
The only way I can explain it is that I am flowing in the ocean yet every drop of the ocean feels like a mismatch. Maybe it's a transitionary state but have no idea where my heart is. Was just wondering even in the flow why do I feel like it's a mismatch.
K. So the question is: “Why do I feel like I am mismatched, even when I feel to be in the flow?”
Let’s look at it again.
The ocean cannot be, or feel to be mismatched. Because to the ocean, there are no drops, there is only ocean, and it is nondual.
But to a drop, there are boundless other drops, each different, separate, apart, and dual.
Awareness is aware. An ocean of awareness.
Attention rises out of awareness, and into mind. It goes here and there, attention going to each drop, and to the sense of flow. All phenomenal, all perceived.
Simply, know that the sense of flow is mind, an experience, phenomenal, and leave it alone. No matter how beautiful, or how mismatched it may feel, look or taste.
There are no transitionary states.
There is the Ultimate, Truth, the One, in which, all phenomena arise and fall, including the perception of them.
So if you can perceive it, leave it.
Then where are you?
Is there any trouble here?
Don’t rise out, even rising out is perceived, and happens within the ultimate.
Stay at the source.
You don’t need to explain or understand anything. Because explanations and understandings belong to the mind, and to the world. Feelings and states belong to the mind, and to the world. Leave them all alone.
Let them serve you in the world, but in Satsang, there is no need for them, where do you have to go to see who you are? What do you need to understand? And who would need to see or understand?
This one has no service to offer here.
Stay at the source.
Does this help?
Q. I feel I will focus on staying at the source and let feelings come and go. Will focus on being the ocean.
K. Good! Just remember, no effort or focus is required for the ocean to be the ocean, or the source to be the source.
Through pure, open awareness, the vigilance Papaji referred to, notice any movement out from here.
Simply return this wandering attention to the source, from where it arises.
Once noticed, it will simply evaporate, as if it had never existed.
Why? Because it never did.